There is nothing more satisfying than shredding paper. I love the grinding noise the shredder makes as it devours the piles of papers I stuff into it. When I’m at work, shredding paper is my favorite part of the day, and i happily skip on over to the shredder when it’s time to complete my favorite daily task. I even bought a small paper shredder for my home office, and it actually gets me excited over junk mail because I know I will have something to feed it.

I don’t have any animals, so I’ve made the paper shredder my pet. His name is George. I know it doesn’t greet me at the door when I come home from a long day at work, but it never wakes me up barking in the middle of the night, and I save all that money on pet food because the paper I feed it is free. George loves to eat paper, and I feed it to him with a giant smile on my face at least 5 times a day. Some people may not understand my obsession with shredding paper, but I find it to be a relaxing pleasure. When I push the button and the grinding noise starts, I know it’s George just begging for another meal. Sometimes i get over zealous and I’ve often accidently shredded important papers before, but sometimes I just can’t help myself once George begans to roar.

I remember this one horrible day when George got sick. I had a pile of papers ready to shred, but when I pushed his button, nothing happened, and I freaked out. For two hours I sat there trying to get George to purr for me, but he just remained silent, so I did something I regret now. I got a pair of scissors. I sat there cutting into the papers, trying to make them into the strips of paper that I always depended on George to make, and I realized it wasn’t going to work. The scissors were dull, and they wouldn’t cut right, and the strips looked more like chunks. It was then that I started to cry. I was so upset that I dropped the scissors and they smacked right onto George, and wouldn’t you know it? As soon as the scissors hit George on the head, I began to hear his familiar grinding noise! The scissors had knocked George back into consiousness! Suddenly my tears stopped flowing, and I began to laugh as I brushed those scissors off George and began to stuff paper into his hungry mouth.

It’s been a year since that day and I’m happy to say that I still have George, and he’s still alive and kicking. I guess one day I’ll be known as the crazy shredder lady, but I don’t mind. I did get rid of those scissors, though, and I hope something that horrible never happens again. I seriously couldn’t take it if I lost George.