Shred Box

The Art Of Paper Shredding With Colors

admin — Tue, 31 May 2011 00:00:00 +0000

Maybe it’s the sound that is so satisfying. Maybe it is taking a piece of paper and turning it into confetti. I don’t know, but paper shredding isn’t just for security anymore. Nope. It’s art now. Once you get started, it can become an obsession. Turning reams and reams of paper into the materials for collages, border for macrame, or just to hear the sound of the paper shredder turning that 8 1/2 by 11 sheet of paper into shreds of its former self.

Now add colored paper to the mix. Ah, colored paper can open up a whole new world of possibilities. One can only imagine that if the Pope had told Michelangelo that a paper shredder was available, there would be no hand of God on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. No, we would have an amazing papier mache masterpiece! Michelangelo would not have come out willingly after only seven years. He would have stayed in there for eternity, just shredding paper until Rome ran out of trees to supply his habit. The statue of David would not be that boring shade of ivory. Donatello would have made sure to offer David some modesty. There would be shreds of colored paper, formed into the speedo that would make David a little more family friendly.

Alas, those artists who would later lend their names to Ninja Turtles did not have the option of using art’s best kept secret. But you do. Start shredding colored paper today!

Paper Shredding Can Be An Art Form

admin — Mon, 09 May 2011 00:00:00 +0000

Inserting a single sheet of paper into the paper shredder, and getting it properly and fully shredded on the first try, is an authentic art form. This takes patience, practice, skill, and determination – but such an accomplishment can be attained. In the process of mastering this lofty goal, paper shredding turns into a veritable display of technique, talent, effort, and determination.

There’s the putative shredder who mindlessly stuffs his sheet of paper somewhere in front of him without paying attention – no destination in particular – completely missing the paper slot. As the paper sails to the floor, he sheepishly glances around, praying that this bumbling display of ineptitude was unseen. Contrast that with the shredder who inserts the paper correctly and is instantly rewarded by the lovely music of the cutting blade motor.

There are various expert paper shredders. Don’t you just love the seasoned auteur who successfully shreds paper after paper, never missing, all the while chattering on her cellphone? The ultimate in paper shredding excellence, however, is the office manager who inserts each sheet of paper into the shredder with the absolute confidence, certainty, focus, and one-pointed concentration of a skilled brain surgeon who has performed this particular frontal lobotomy a thousand times before. To you, we bow.

How To Get Your Shred On Without Being Caught

admin — Tue, 22 Mar 2011 00:00:00 +0000

Of all the great inventions mankind has developed over the years, none can come close to the magic of the paper shredder. This fascinating device manages to take a simple sheet of paper and convert it into fine, gorgeous ribbons of confetti,www.confetti.com. Feeding the paper into this contraption itself is a joy with no equal. If we could, we’d spend all day shredding documents and notebook pages, but society deems this inappropriate behavior. There are, however, a few ways one can engage in this pleasurable activity without being caught. Firstly, it is necessary to cut down on noise that might give away the fact that you are shredding. In order to do this, measure your paper shredder and construct an enclosure from any thick material, such as wood paneling, cardboard, or styrofoam. Place your shredder into this enclosure and try putting a magazine page through. You’ll notice the lack of sound. A silent shredder is a secret shredder. Next, find a room without windows in which to perform your shredding. Windows might clue others in to your activities. The less visible you are, the better. Don’t forget to dim the lights! The less YOU can see, the better. Finally, make sure to dispose of your paper shreds in opaque black garbage bags.

A Crisis Ahead

www.shredbox.com — Thu, 30 Dec 2010 00:00:00 +0000

As the print magazine and newspaper industry has come to know over the past decade, the primary mediums by which people do business and find entertainment have entirely changed, with digital information assuming the role paper once played in society. Between mobile phones, wireless internet, iThis, iThat and the other, printers, and sadly shredders alongside them, are quickly becoming a relics of a bygone era.Even technology that once promised to increase global shredability has become obsolete within a much shorter than expected time frame. Need paper to print high quality photos at home? Why bother, just upload your photos to Facebook or get one of those snazzy electronic picture frames. Sure, the occasional grandparent my like something tangible to hang on the refrigerator, but try to shred that puppy and you’re looking 4 generations of hell coming at you, not to mention legal action by the AARP.And it’s not just photos. Back in the glory days people used to actually print out articles they thought you might be interested in. Even after the advent of email, entertaining stories were often put to paper and passed around at home and in offices, largely thanks to the stigma of junk mail. Now, simply posting a funny story anecdote to a social media accound, taking its digital form from its originating website, allows a host of friends and family far and wide to all peruse intriguing finds at their leisure. What’s it to us? That’s a lot of excess paper suddenly out of the discard pile. The trend seems to be that in this new age only the most important of documents actually make their way to parchment, whether it be binding contracts, summons, timeless artwork, legislative bills, all of which put any aspiring shredder in danger of vengeful rage or legal actions.Yes, there’s always the overstuffed inbox to take your destructive tendencies on, but honestly, clicking “Move To Trash” and “Permanently Delete” simply doesn’t provide the same level of satisfaction. Meanwhile, buying brand new sheets from Staples every time you get the urge can make shredding an expensive hobby.So read books with actual pages, purchase subscriptions to any moderately interesting publication and write letters, yes letters, to your loved ones. The digital downfall of shredding may be more than just a fad, but with a concerted effort, perhaps a little nostalgia can help to soften the blow.

Great Days in Shredding History

www.shredbox.com — Mon, 20 Sep 2010 23:20:19 +0000

Flipping through the calendar pages, we are annually reminded of the defining moments in American history, from the 4^th of July commemorating our nation’s birth and independence from England, spanning all the way back to Columbus Day, in recognition of the New World’s first discovery by Europeans. Even the more obscure holidays like Victory Over Japan Day, mildly celebrated every August 15^th, get some mention. As the paper shredding timeline is still a relatively short one, no one is expecting any sort of parade-filled nationwide tribute. Still, were we to make recommendations to Congress for an official “Shred Paper Day,” these would be the most likely submissionsFebruary 2, 1909 Move over Groundhog’s Day, February 2^nd marks the anniversary of the first patent for a paper shredder being filed by inventor Abbot Augustus Low. After all, if a glorified chipmunk can have its own special day, why can’t a revolutionary piece of machinery follow suit?Sometime in 1935 Though the specific date is unknown, perhaps paper shredding appreciation could take place in every year that ends in 5, something like February 29^th. For critics who say paper shredding has no place in history, did you know that the first paper shredder was manufactured in 1935 by Adolf Ehinger, an active participant in Nazi resistance? Ehinger used the original hand-cranked device to cover up his anti-Nazi propaganda before the Third Reich caught on to his heroic publication exploits.June 17, 1972 History buffs might recognize this as the date of the infamous Watergate break-in, arguably the biggest scandal on record. The high profile incident helped for paper shredders to enter mainstream vernacular as they were used prominently in cover-up efforts by President Nixon’s officials.November 28, 2001 Not only would a November 28^th Shred Paper Day help to hide the laundry list of receipts resulting from Christmas present purchases on Black Friday, the date also signifies the full financial collapse of Enron. The now closed accounting firm Arthur Anderson, who handled Enron’s audit, put shredders to good use disposing of thousands of documents, along with deleting emails and company files, that would’ve further revealed their mismanagement of the Enron account.

Introducing Master Shredder

www.shredbox.com — Sat, 18 Sep 2010 18:23:26 +0000

All you shred-happy office assistants out there, try to contain yourselves before you break into an active sweat. Perhaps the title should’ve been a little more descriptive “Master Shredder” isn’t a new, heavy duty paper-shredding machine capable of making Optimus Prime look like an Easy-Bake Oven. In fact, Master Shredder isn’t even here to help. He is a villain, a cold, hardened killer hell-bent on finally enjoying a hard-fought bowl of turtle soup.Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle fans will remember Master Shredder as the primary nemesis of Leonardo, Donatello, Michaelangelo and Rafael, controlling the Foot Clan (his army of misguided wrong-doers) towards one evil ploy after another. Born as Oruku Saki, Shredder takes his nickname from the sharp edged armor he wears at all times, capable of mincing even the thickest encyclopedia to mere scraps. Shredder is a “master” as the result of years of ninjutsu training, a title given to those who have reached the highest level of the Japanese art of fighting.Master Splinter, who serves as the Turtles’ “sensei” or mentor, was actually a member of the same clan as Shredder back in their native country. According to the cartoon, Shredder framed Splinter for the attempted murder of their clan’s leader, at which point Splinter fled to New York City and sought refuge in sewers beneath the city streets. While living underground in exile, Splinter came across four abandoned turtles, taking them in as pets and raising them as his own. When Splinter finds his turtles crawling around in a mysterious oozing chemical he tries to clean them off with his bare hands, but the mutating effects transform Splinter into an oversized sewer rat and all four of his pets into turtle-like humanoids. With the turtles now capable of a full range of motion, Splinter founds the world’s first amphibian dojo, using his advanced martial arts knowledge to train his new students in the craft, as the Ninja Turtles quickly begin to take shape.

Think Before You Shred

www.shredbox.com — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 21:21:33 +0000

Yes, shredding is fun, but like all good things, too much shredding can potentially lead to irreparable harm both to yourself and others. Just prior to casting the next lead in All Documents Go to Heaven, ask the following questions to ensure shredder safety:1) “Is this mine?” Don’t shred what’s not yours. It may seem like common sense, but at times perhaps the urge seems too much to resist. Whether you find pictures of your current significant other enjoying a romantic evening with an ex, an old Halloween photo in which you’re in the background dressed as Bambi (not sexy Bambi, just regular Bambi) or even incriminating legal papers that officially belong to the prosecution, always stick to the shredding’s golden rule.2) “Is this laminated?” As a general rule of thumb, never shred anything with a shiny outer coat. Most likely you, or someone close to you, went through the extra effort to make sure this particular item endured the test of time. This rule extends protection to official paperwork as well, such as passports and drivers licenses, no matter how bad your picture may be.3) “Does this have monetary or historical value?” It should go without saying that if this particular piece of parchment is green-tinted with a president in the center, simply put it back in your wallet and dismiss the idea. A scroll of ancient Egyptian papyrus, on the other hand, may at first glance seem like a perfectly aged and tenderized morsel ready to be torn apart by sharp shredder teeth. Don’t do it. Shredding papyrus blatantly disregards history dating back to 3000 BC, when the Egyptians first scribbled the hieroglyphics that paved the way for today’s written word.Aside from these basic guidelines to which there are few, in any, exceptions, feel free to plug in your shredder, turn that bad boy on and go absolutely nuts

Shaming the Good Shredding Name

www.shredbox.com — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 20:55:38 +0000

To shred something is, by definition, “to cut it finely,” a simple statement seemingly invulnerable to misunderstanding. This is not a personal interpretation of the word’s meaning; it’s Miriam-Webster‘s. Unfortunately, our nation’s youth have taken a few too many creative liberties with shredding’s upstanding name. As a brand, the word shred guarantees a level of quality dismemberment from which there is no return. If something goes through the shredder, it’s not coming back. Using the word in any other semblance compromises 75 years of paper-shredding tradition, devaluing a concept and practice countless engineers have worked hard to perfect.Apparently, the term “shredding” has taken a new slang meaning within snowboarding’s counterculture. One snowboarder might say to another, “Dude, I totally shredded that mountain.” In this instance, the snowboarder is commenting on the skill with which he maneuvered down the snow-packed hill, in addition to the large amount of snow he displaced by cutting back forth on his board in the process. To be clear, displacement is not dismemberment. Were you to pick up all the snow that was shifted during the boarder’s descent, could you easily pack it back together? Yes. A little might melt in the process, but melting is an entirely different ballgame. Perhaps, “Dude, I totally sprayed that mountain” or just “I did a really good job snowboarding back there, bro,” would be a more appropriate word choice.For those who might make light of the issue, or believe the two definitions can co-exist, first consider the consequences. In arguably shredding’s all-time low point, director Greg Huson attempted to make the unholy matrimony work when he released the straight-to-DVD slasher flick Shredder in 2003, playing off of the newly minted double entendre. The tale takes place on a deserted ski resort where snowboarders are sliced up like hot butter by a disgruntled ski-enthusiast who takes exception with the snowboarding community. As evidenced by the film’s 4.4/10 IMDb rating, a dually-defined “shred” can and will not work. Don’t be a bystander, speak out against nonsensical snowboarding lingo at a lodge near you.

Amateur Psychology 101: Shred Therapy

www.shredbox.com — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 20:50:45 +0000

What is it about sharpened metal quickly and effortlessly slicing paper into tiny particles that gets your blood pumping like there are two minutes left in the 4^th quarter? Most likely a complicated case of deep set emotional issues, but whatever the root cause, you are not alone. In many underpublicized circles across the country, shredding is more of a hobby than means of protecting private, sensitive and/or classified information. Whether satisfying your curiosity just to see if a thick stack will shred or catering to an insatiable desire from within, more paper is wasted per year through meaningless shred-sessions than perhaps the aggregate total of all high school origami clubs. So what about shredding is it that humans are so intrinsically drawn towards?In short, shredding is therapeutic. The simple idea of controlling a piece of paper’s unknowing fate, helplessly headed towards a closed-wastebasket demise, gives the brief illusion of power in times when life may be beyond our control. Furthermore, when we shred specific items or documents that may have a certain sentimental value attached to them, i.e. old love letters, the shredder can serve as a medium for a cathartic cleansing of the heart. The Deuce Pub & Pit, located in Columbia, Missouri, has taken this basic concept and jacked up the ante, bringing in industrial-grade Christmas tree shredders every February 14^th, as part of the anti-Valentine’s Day festivities. Bar patrons can bring in any item big or small that reminds them of a past relationship (aside from puppies and other living presents), and quickly watch it turn to dust before their eyes.On a less emotionally involved level, destroying things also panders to a primal fulfillment, just like letting out an unbridled scream or yell when frustrated. So next time you’re at wits end after a long day, or maybe suffering from a broken heart, instead of stopping by Ben & Jerry’s for a pint of ice-cream, try picking up 300 fresh sheets from the local Office Max instead, saving yourself some time on the treadmill at the expense of a tree or two.